Well, that was fast!

When you graduate with a journalism degree, the school should force you to minor in something like Restaurant Serving, Front Desk Reception, or Retail Sales. And they should say, "Here's your diploma so you can pursue your dreams to work at Conde Nast publishing or The Wall Street Journal, but you better know how do to do these other things, too, because you're going to need to actually get paid."

I could have used the advice way back when.

But anyway, I put in my two-weeks notice at the restaurant. Like Hillary Swank's character said in P.S. I Love You, "I can't work for idiots." But that's not really true. I've worked for plenty of idiots.

To put it simply, I was starting to hate it. I loved the people and hope I remain friends with some of them. But the hours were really long, the chef was kinda a jerk, and they kept adding duties to our long list of things to do. On Tuesday when I came in, K (my favorite other cocktail server) was like "We have to polish these plates before they go out." So, when the restaurant is at capacity, and forty people are waiting for their sage juleps, and ten more ladies celebrating Annie's 30th birthday just walked in, I'll be in the kitchen, wiping down share plates. Wishing to God I was wearing special orthopedic shoes.

I'll just have to find some other crap job, I said to Elbow. Like, why can't I find a REAL job? My dream job, other than hiding away in some high turret like Stephen King, spinning out chick-lit novels, is to work as an assistant on a farm. In between deep, dark woods. Like the Black Forest in Germany. But I digress.

We had a mouse. And he tried to eat our house. Actually, he ate an entire bag of brown rice. Poor little guy. He also ate into a bag of flour so that every time we shut the cabinet door, a puff of white fairy dust would float out. And I was like, "What the?" But then Elbow found him sleeping in the toaster. So cute. Like a kid's movie. But he had to be destroyed. Sorry kids. The little bastard ate a hole in every item we had in the cupboard and pooped everywhere. It was really fun to clean.

We now have traps out and I told this whole story because this morning it looks as if one of the traps has been released and the Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter is gone. This could mean that Elbow found a little critter in the morning. Or that we have a really smart mouse. Like a nutria. Did you know that nutrias swim? They look like beavers in the water. No joke.