Learning the ropes in city gov

Since 2006 I've applied for numerous positions in various nonprofit organizations. I thought it would be so fulfilling to combine my communications skills and experience with my desire to make a difference in my community (I probably wrote that exact line. No wonder I never got hired).

Now I know the truth. I told Elbow I don't know how he does it. It's great to work in public health . . . except for the public. During our outreach events, I half expect the scary clown and the bearded lady to come rolling through our little circus any time. There are clients, speakers and their children all over the place. And some of them don't speak English. And all of them want to tip over the chairs or run in the elevator or steal the others' door prize toys. And I haven't even started talking about the children yet. OR the big kids circus  traipsing through the corridors of City Hall.

Last week I was charged with chopping three large bamboo-like sticks into individual pieces for a presentation gift bag. As I'm hacking away with a kitchen knife, and then trying to break the sucker over my knee, I ask Ms. Toni "What is this?"

"It's for my presentation."

"Yeah, but what is it?"

"I want them all to have a piece."

"A piece of what?!"

At this point she finally gets what I'm asking and I suffer through one of those "You must be the damn dumbest Yankee" looks before telling me. It's sugar cane. Duh. Well, where I come from, we would be breaking off individual portions of buck antlers and serving cornbread and beans with deer jerky. She served po' boys, pig's feet and greens. Go figure.