Real Housewives of New Orleans

So if I had a child I might be busier. But I don't. So I'm a housewife who literally goes to yoga and works on her "novel."

This morning I weeded and watered the plants, swept the side and back patio, cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry. Then it was 8:00 a.m.

Man, them plants look good.

Is that long plant supposed to be in there? Or is it a weed?

I accidentally knocked this bird's nest out of the tree with my broom.

Bird's Nest, circa 2012. Artist: Sam Fritz.

Perfect weather for cleaning the patio.

Squeaky.

Since I'm home days now I make detailed lists of everything I'm going to do and then I record the amount of time it takes me to do them. This sounds so crazy. Do other stay-at-home wives do this?

I did apply to like 25 jobs, schedule an informational interview and reach out to two more industry experts. And then it was noon.

I walked to Zara's and bought a head of cabbage for 73 cents! Did you know that cabbage is that cheap? Most housewives probably do. And then, I swear this is true, a woman got in line behind me dressed to the nines and wearing bright pink lipstick. Do you know what she bought? A head of cabbage.

In other news, I'm going to be a Cherry Bomb! I get to dance in parades. I had to audition and everything. This is a dream come true for me. I get to wear a red tutu and do eight counts in my head. I told Elbow and he was like "Who am I going to watch the parades with?" So he needs a new Mardi Gras steady. But I can't wait! See pics/info if you're interested: http://nolacherrybombs.com/